MC Battle Blog

While currently battling an unfortunate and uncomfortable case of bleeding hemorrhoids, I was reminded of my dwindling love for rap battles. I then remembered I have a site about battles which still receives thousands of visitors each month, despite the fact that I never update it. After ruining 2 pairs of boxers due to blood loss, I decided, fuck it, let’s update this blog with some fun stuff for the fans!

So after researching bleeding hemorrhoids for hours online, I quickly realized that no matter how much I picked at it Within the last 2 or so years, the influx of scripted Grind Time matches has increased the popularity of battling as a whole many times over. While I still miss the now decaying on-stage freestyle battles, I cannot pretend that Grind Time isn’t a worthy adversary for battle mediums. Despite its awesome features, however, the league still has a long trek ahead of it when it comes to functioning wholly as a final replacement for all other rap battle platforms.

Here are 5 things I would love to see Grind Time implement for my own amusement, as well as some things I could definitely see aiding them in becoming an officially recognized league for battle rapping by major sponsors and other syndications.

1) Institute A Grind Time Champion.

Apparently this is now happening, but between Surgeon General and High Collide. Forgive me for being out of the loop on this as I haven’t been paying attention to battles. Um, okay, lol. I think Surgeon is dope as fuck and having the winner of Lounge Battles earning the first title shot was a decent enough idea, but against High Collide?

No disrespect intended, but you seriously couldn’t have thought of a better person to deserve a title shot than High fucking Collide? There are plenty of people in Grind Time with better records, who have faced tougher competition, and aren’t coming off a loss.

I guess the title has to start somewhere, but come on, really? High Collide? I mean seriously, I don’t hate the guy personally, but I am not trying to listen to him tell Surgeon that it looks like he ate “a thousand quarts of salad forks” or some shit. Did this guy save Madd Illz from drowning when they were kids or something?

This topic brings me to my next suggestion…

2) Institute A Reasonable Ranking System

This is a very important suggestion because it will aid the staff in determining who deserves the next title shot. The thing I like about a ranking system to determine who battles for the title is that it’s much better than the previous system, which is apparently drawing names out of a hat.

I’m thinking something to do with numbers that feed off of each other, such as assigning points to a battler for their records, and beating a person with a higher number of points attached to their name will yield more points for the winning battler.

Either that or Grind Time pays me to analyze shit.

3) Develop Actual Product

One thing that has always irked me is the fact that Grind Time parades itself as a business, but doesn’t actually have products to sell. It took about 7 years for them to make shirts, but that’s about it. Not to mention, the shirt selling idea came after halting production on a Battle Of The Bay 5 DVD which had many people vying for purchase. Hell, every battle from the event is available on YouTube and I would still pay to have a high-definition DVD copy at home. AND I AIN’T EVEN BE FUCKIN’ WIT BATTLES LIKE DAT NO MO’!

I don’t know enough Grind Time’s inner workings to not call my post speculation, but I can’t be too far off the mark. I know for sure that Madd Illz and Lush are not morons so I’m not completely sold on GT imploding into itself like an old ass star (amazing similes in this bitch), but actual products couldn’t hurt the company.

Selling ad space in the beginning of videos and shouting out companies in the battle intros is a great start for sure, but more ways to monetize the company are definitely necessary. I am sure they’re working on this right now and I’m not taking shots, just a reasonable observation.

4) Equalize Your Battler Budget

This goes hand in hand with suggestion #4, but I think it’s much more important. I won’t speak on Grind Time’s financial situation for 2 reasons: 1) I do not know them. I am purely speculating. 2) Even if I did know about it, it’s not anyone’s business and I wouldn’t comment on those matters publicly.

With that being said, it’s common knowledge that certain battlers get paid very large sums of money to come out and battle. With the amount of numbers I have seen tossed around, I would be very surprised if the league could stay afloat much longer without serious merchandising and monetary changes. Even if they are turning a profit from the company, I really don’t think rappers need to get paid that much for rapping. A rule of thumb I would use is whether or not these guys could ever make that much from their own music, assuming these battle rappers make music.

Call me old fashioned, but I am from a time where in order to make money battling, you actually had to win. That meant flying out on your own money, working your ass off on your selective premeds, thinking of rebuttals, and hoping that you win.

Nowadays a battler gets a free flight, free hotel, free guest, and large sums of money on top of that… to rap for 3 minutes? I am not saying battlers don’t deserve to get paid, but I think these prices are ridiculous. A battler’s view count can only provide so much value to a company and I highly doubt that it’s that easy to recoup the monetary loss of a battler’s paycheck by YouTube views. I mean seriously, how many of you have clicked that fucking UPS ad at the beginning of the videos?

Other than paying both battlers a sum of money, why not only offer plane tickets and a hotel and offer up $500-$1000 for the winner? Inspire motivation and keep the budget smaller. Of course now that people have gotten wind up the current payment method, switching to the more cost effective one will be a tough sell. /Shrug.

Again, the staff has a better idea of their monetary situation than I, and as mentioned previously, Grind Time is still alive and kicking, so my speculation might be off. Now that they have ads in the beginning of the videos (paid ads, not YouTube ads) the view counts these battlers tote could definitely be used as a viable bargaining chip. I guess I’ll eat crow when Lush, Madd Illz and Drect pull a drive-by on my house in a SOLID DIAMOND PLATED CORVETTE/TIME MACHINE.

5) Institute Quality Control

This concept needs to be applied in several areas; mainly in league development. I don’t know who the fuck cares to see Grind Time: Anchorage, AK, but it sure as shit isn’t me. There are too many leagues starting up and I predict that too many hasty decisions are going to come as a result. It was like 12 hours ago that we had Mr. ATLA popping and locking his way into a presidential position because he promised Lush a few Paco Jeans T-Shirts or something (I might have this part distorted).

I think slowing down on creating new leagues and tightening up the current ones is a much better approach. The MidWest division started off terribly and took a while to come into its own and the wait for that to happen was very painful. Why not allow that time for the other potential divisions to come into their own as well, but just not on camera.

Also, institute a judging panel that decides if the losers (or even winners) of their battles deserve to come back into a main league. Like for instance, once I choked against Revanon, I think it should be mandatory that I battle at least once in a similar 1-on-1 written format before being able to have the option to return to Grind Time West Coast. Even without chokes I suggest this rule be implemented.

That’s about it. Sorry about the essay, I get like that when I’m tired. I’ll make it up to you guys by uploading some alternate angles from BOTB 1 sometime. Drop some feedback bitches.